For the last 3+ years I have suffered from short-term memory loss, much like Dory from Finding Nemo. I assume this is another of the myriad trauma-induced symptoms since my losses. Does anyone else have this?Sometimes the results have been comical, like the time I shaved a big bald spot on hubby's head. Well, maybe he didn't think it was so funny. I was giving him a haircut and forgot to put the length attachment on the clippers. This was the day before a big job interview. He didn't get that job.
Sometimes it can be scary, like the time I forgot the stove was on. A children's book that was on the stovetop got burned all the way through, but did not catch fire. Whew!
The lowest low point was in the months immediately following my losses. I had to keep a 3 x 5 card with my address and phone number by the phone. This enabled me to rattle off this information convincingly when verifying my identity for paying bills and making appointments. I don't know who I am anymore.
I forget things all the time - my kids' tennis lessons, swimming lessons, dance class, birthday parties, dentist appointments, etc. I forget peoples' names. I forget what day it is. Last month I forgot to pay the rent. I forget why I went downstairs or what I need to get at the store. I try to compensate by keeping ridiculously detailed lists of EVERYTHING I need to do. . . but what good is that when I forget where I put the list or forget to look at it?
Finally this week I thought I'd figured out a way to get my act together. I programmed my cell phone to beep in advance of every scheduled event to remind me. So . . . this morning at 9:30 the phone alarm went off and I was totally confused. What's that noise? Where's it coming from? Oh yeah - I set the cell phone to go off before Tania's dance class! Hey, at least I'd already remembered that she had dance class today - I just forgot about the reminder. I'm an idiot, a dimwit, a moron. I'm going to get Alzheimer's for sure. It's starting already.
I miss my brain. Not so very many years ago, I was well-organized and intelligent. At least that's the way I remember it . . .
5 comments:
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I do the same things! I am definitely going to try the cell phone thing!
Check this out:
http://www.natalienortonphoto.com/2010/02/grief-project.html
I think I used to be more organized and intelligent, but I can't really remember. I'm not being snarky...it really feels hard to remember what I used to be. Hoping the cell phone reminder is a good help for you. ((Hugs))
Thank you!! I thought this was just happening to me...
Oh, it's definitely a post traumatic thing. I have it too. I have lost three children over three and a half years, and my memory loss just keeps getting worse. I forget what I said. What my husband said. What I did. When I did it. What I'm cooking. What I've done. What I'm going to do. All of it. The list goes on. I used to be very well organised too -- I used to organise multi-million dollar deals. Now I can't remember whether I brushed my teeth an hour ago!!!
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