Evil Twins

Today's ultrasound and nurses consult for IVF#2 did not go so well. Can you guess why? Yes, cysts. Cysts are a dominant theme on this blog. I have evil twin cysts, both 3.5 centimeters. I was supposed to start Lupron next Sunday, but everything is now delayed indefinitely. We'll check in on these cysts again in two weeks, though I've never had one go away in less than 3 months. Until they go away I'm on The Pill continuously, then I'll jump on the Lupron as soon as I get the green light. We were lucky to be able to talk with my actual doctor (!) about all this, since she was out joking around with the receptionists as we were leaving the office.

This year has at least been a big improvement over last in the pain department. Last year there were six months of constant pain from cysts. This year - zero months of constant pain, even with multiple cysts. But I still keep getting delayed and keep not getting pregnant. This year could be a lot better. Could be a lot worse too, though. No constant pain, no dead babies, and no other deaths in the family. What a great year! Well, at least compared with the last few.

Yesterday marked one year since my big little brother collapsed and died while running in our hometown's annual 10K. My parents and another brother ran in this year's 10K in his memory. Amazingly, all three family members won in their respective age groups, even with 400 other runners competing! Since we couldn't go to my hometown, my hubby and I ran 10K here. It's still hard to believe my brother is gone, especially since his death was never adequately explained.

The last time I was in my hometown for the annual festival and 10K was in 2006. On the morning of September 10, I took a pregnancy test (postive!) and then ran the 10K - slowly. I was pregnant with Jeremiah. The next day, we went to my sister's grave at the city cemetery. I have a picture of me pregnant with Jeremiah and sitting by my sister's grave - the same grave where Jeremiah would also be buried just a few months later. My hometown festival used to be pure fun, but now it is fraught with disturbing memories.