Baby Got Back

Weeks 22 through 24:

We are back in Minnesota with baby still alive and kicking at 24 weeks.  I've had one appointment (NOT at the perinatal clinic!) and got pics of the cord finally!  See them here.  I'm supposed to go back again in three weeks.  It's a long time to wait.

I've gotten behind in posting and gone nearly incommunicado even with family & friends since getting back to Minnesota nearly three weeks ago.  The fact is I've been very depressed lately and have been trying to break out of it. This pregnancy is stressful, to say the least, and on top of it we've just rejected a job offer Q got from Texas.  Moving in the middle of this pregnancy seems just too risky and the job itself was not ideal.  Still, we've been trying to move and buy a house for SO long that it was sad to say no!

Gestating on the Beach

Week 21:

After the family reunion in Tennessee ended, we drove to Florida to spend a few days with my sister's family near Jacksonville.  When I say "we drove", I mostly mean Q.  He arranged to work remotely for a week because there was no way I could do all the driving to Florida and then all the way back to Minnesota myself with three contentious kids in back.  I'm no good at long-distance driving, especially in my present exhausted state.  This part of our vacation would not have been possible without Q.  Thanks Q!

We spent 5 days at my sister's and were able to visit St. Augustine, spend some time on the beach, and see some dolphins in the wild.  Q was also able to do some of his work meetings on the golf course.

I am now past the point where we lost Jeremiah.  This baby is a good deal stronger and more active than either of the boys were at similar points in pregnancy, so I take that as a good sign.  Still, I will feel much better (I hope) once we good a good look at the cord on ultrasound.

The drive back to Minnesota was looong.  We spread it over four days and were able to see a Civil War battlefield and visit with Q's family along the way.  Overall it was a great trip and spending these stressful weeks on vacation with family was vastly better than spending them in Minnesota!

Into the Woods

Week Twenty:

Baby and I have successfully survived a reunion with my family.  This consisted of my parents, their 11 grandchildren, and their six surviving children who gathered from six different states to spend six days in Tennessee.

Remarkably, there was no drama of any kind.  At the same point in my last pregnancy, family relations were in a very sad state and got even worse before finally improving.  I was a bit nervous about the prospect of spending this very stressful time in my pregnancy in the company of my family, particularly my mother.  She remains addicted to placebos and fervently believes in a great deal of nonsense, but has mostly given up trying to convert the rest of the family to her quasi-religious views.  Happily, this and all other controversial issues were successfully avoided by all parties and everyone had a great time hiking, rafting, and relaxing together.

I am relieved to be past the 19w2d milestone where we lost Miles.  Of course we're not out of the woods yet.  Next I hope to pass the 21w2d milestone where we lost Jeremiah and then if we get very lucky again, continue on to another happy ending.  It still doesn't seem real that any of this is happening.

Bear feet in a tree
Great Smoky Mountains National Park

Into the woods
Great Smoky Mountains National Park

The Idiot

Week 19:  I went to the perinatal office for the thorough mid-pregnancy ultrasound just two days before we were leaving for a family reunion.  My hope, of course, was that we could see that the cord looked normal and thus have a more relaxing vacation.  Having the vacation during weeks 19 to 21 of the pregnancy was far from ideal given that we lost our boys at 19 weeks and 21 weeks.

I saw a different doctor this time, but unfortunately he too absolutely refused to do ultrasound of the cord.  Everything else looks lovely - heart, other organs, growth, etc.  That's good obviously, but did nothing to alleviate my concerns about the cord.  The doctor and I had a lengthy discussion about this refusal to look at the cord.  I should point out that I was very cordial and non-confrontational.  He was a good deal more affable than the last doctor, but still managed to take a condescending tone.  And these are the same doctors at the same clinic that I saw last time!  It makes absolutely no sense!

My view is why the hell would you NOT look at the cord given my history of recurrent cord-related losses? It's not as if it's hard to look - they're doing the ultrasound anyway and getting paid a hefty sum for it.  I cited Dr. Collin's work on recurrent cord pathology.  His reply was that they will not be ordered around by patients or other doctors.  He also argued that since nothing could be done at this point if the cord is malformed, there's no point in looking at it.  I countered that I'd at least like to know what the situation is given the fact I'll be traveling out of state during the same time period we had our prior losses.  And also that we want to know the state of the cord before telling our kids that I'm pregnant.  He said something along the lines of "these are issues a psychologist is more qualified to deal with".  I am so done with this clinic!

Clearly, there was no way for me to win here, so I left with the satisfaction of having wasted far more of his time arguing (30 minutes) than he would have spent just doing the ultrasound (1 minute). And he doesn't get a penny more for the extra time spent.  Ha! Shame I don't still have Doctor Dammit - he would have gotten a well-deserved beating.

The next couple of days were busy preparing for the trip.  Our first day's drive took us as far as Illinois, where we picked up our oldest daughter who had been staying with Q's parents for two weeks.  She asked if I'd been exercising much while she was gone.  Good thing we'd already made plans to tell the kids our news - it's obvious I'm getting bigger!

 I'd made Anastasia a shirt that says "Jie-Jie" on it.  That's Chinese for big sister.  When she showed the older kids there was confusion at first - "But she's not a jie-jie!".  And then they got it.  We had wanted to wait longer before telling them, but since the kids have already noticed my increased girth and our family reunion will involve swimming suits, we felt forced to tell them now.  So they know and we just hope for the best.

Mei-Mei is very excited about being a Jie-Jie!

"Another sister?!"
"Another SISTER!!"